Planning to retire? If you don’t plan to retire, that means you retire to plan. Wait, that makes no sense. Sorry, keeping our metaphors straight is not our strong suit. That would be recycling old posts.

One of our favorite Investopedia pieces is the one we wrote about different retirement systems throughout the world. Which countries are “generous” with redistributing wealth, which are less so. We concluded that in the short term, but absolutely not in the long term, Greece would be the place to live out your dotage:

Greece[‘s] government promised its citizens benefits that defy math. Greek retirement age can be as early as 50 (not a typo), depending on your profession. There’s a special category for “arduous and unhealthy work,” which includes the grueling physical demands placed on…wait for it…trombone players and pastry chefs.

If you want to read the rest of the post, here it is in its original incarnation. You can blame our Investopedia editor for removing all the profanity and sex jokes.

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