Female founders and self care in the same sentence? Wait, what? I know, self care is such a buzzword, but as female entrepreneurs, we really have to look after ourselves because no one else will.
As a female business owner myself (I’m doing digital marketing, especially link building over at linksandmaria or over at Paseo), I struggle with the whole work-life balance concept.
Does that even exist?
I really don’t have a good answer to that, but in this article, I want to share 4 techniques that help me relax and the exact steps you can take if you want to reach somewhat of a balance.
So both you and me can continue to lead, to grow (not only plants) and ultimately keep going.
Priorities can be your best friend or worst enemy
So many times, I wished there was a magical button to switch from executive mode to relax mode instantly. What would be even better is if someone else could tell me when it’s time to push that button because sometimes I find it hard to prioritise.
When I started to analyse my priorities, I saw that what ultimately gave me the most value and brought some semblance of work-life balance was when I was feeding my soul.
Connecting with people I can actually talk to, being alone and just sitting with what is, and planting are some of my priorities that help me gain strength for the business aspects.
I don’t know about you but I struggle with remembering that I am not a robot. In my mind I believe I don’t need breaks. I am convinced I can sit for
hours doing outreach and planning link building campaigns.
Ideally, I would want “an adult” to tell me, “Maria-Katarina, now that’s enough work” and then move me to a field of flowers where I could just sit with no other stimuli.
How to prioritise for a better work-life balance
Step 1: Identity your core priorities
- Take some time to reflect on what truly feeds your soul. Is it connecting with people, spending time alone, doing yoga or another hobby?
- Make a list of these core activities and keep it somewhere visible (so you get reminded what you actually prioritise).
Step 2: Schedule “Me Time”
- Block out time in your calendar for these activities. Treat them like a non-negotiable business appointment with yourself.
Step 3: Set Boundaries
- Learn to say no to tasks and things that don’t align with your core priorities. It’s okay to prioritise yourself!
- Communicate your boundaries to the people around you – including yourself.
Step 4: Use Tools to Stay Organised
- Don’t rely on your memory! Keep track of your to-dos and priorities with tools like Trello, Asana or a simple old fashioned calendar.
Bring in the plants
Something that really empowers me and makes me more connected with other people and in life in general, is plants. They relieve stress and make me a more balanced woman.
I don’t mean you ladies should rush to the nearest supermarket and grab a random plant. I mean planting a seed, taking care of it, and reading up about what that specific seed needs to evolve into a little mini plant.
And when it (hopefully) has become a little mini plant, replant it, keep taking care of it – but maybe more importantly letting time pass.
Understand that in this case, there is no magical button, I just have to accept that it will take a certain amount of time for it to become a tomato plant.
I cannot force this process.
How to Grow and Thrive: Finding Balance and Empowerment
Step 1: Choose Your focus
- Identify an area of your life you want to nurture, it can be a new skill project or a personal development goal. Choose something that aligns with your interests.
Step 2: Start Small
- Break down your area of interest into small and manageable steps.
Step 3: Consistent Effort
- Dedicate time each and every day to work on your focus are.
Let your village lift you up (even if it’s a small one)
It’s lonely to be a female founder, whether you’re into link building or into a completely different field. I don’t know how many times I have felt isolated and disconnected, feeling that people don’t understand me.
I think we all need a village to lift us up, whether we are female business owners or not.
But maybe even more so as female entrepreneurs. The village can be small; it’s not really a numbers game. I have a couple of SEO friends I catch up with regularly, I listen to their struggles, and I share what is going on with me.
I have to be honest, it’s not always easy but it’s more about letting people into your space, lowering your guard a bit.
Letting people stay and help you, establishing a connection and creating an allowing space.
Talking about things other than work, or venting about things happening in your business, and being surrounded by people who will actually listen to you.
A village that allows you to be confused, vulnerable and everything in between.
And yes, that also means connecting with animals.
Dogs are my favourite.
How to Build a Supportive Village to Lift You Up
Step 1: Identify Your Support Network
- Write down names of people who really understand your journey and can offer some sort of support – friends, family, mentors, dogs etc.
- Try to make a good mix so you have good people to contact depending where you are on your journey.
Step 2: Reach Out and Connect
- Don’t wait for others to reach out. Ask to jump on an informal Zoom call, plan a meet-up etc.
Step 3: Be Open
- Be honest about both your struggles and successes. Encourage others to do the same.
- Give people the best gift: be present and actively listen to their experiences and challenges.
Step 4: Stay Both Consistent and Flexible
- Keep your support network updated on your progress.
- Be flexible and allow yourself to adjust the support when your/their journey changes.
Learning how to pause
A person I really admire is Tara Brach, and one of the things she talks about is the ability to learn to pause before we react to something or someone.
I’m an executive person and I like to respond (and have things happen in general) immediately because it’s boring and frustrating to wait.
If I can stop just for a split second before I respond to someone, I can actually listen to what they are saying.
If I feel upset, sad or whatever feeling and I pause – I can try to allow those feelings to exist instead of rushing to the next project.
How to Learn The Power of Pausing
Step 1: Recognize the Benefits
- A simple pause can improve your decision-making, reduce stress etc.
Step 2: Start with Mindfulness
- Dedicate 5-10 minutes each day to mindfulness practices – meditation, deep breathing or simply just sitting quietly.
Step 3: Implement a physical cue
- Take a deep breath before you respond to something or someone that triggers you.
- Count slowly to five in your mind to actively create a pause.
Step 4: Practise Regularly
- At the end of the day, reflect on times during the day when you paused and how that impacted the outcome.
Step 5: Use Reminders
- Set an alarm during the day where you can allow to check in with yourself.
- Place notes with the word “pause” in places where you’ll see them often.
Lead, relax and repeat
Being a female entrepreneur is so many things – stressful, confusing, interesting, challenging – the list goes on.
Making room for self care is hard!
But if we can break the executive cycle once in a while, whether that’s through growing plants or letting your village lift you up, I think we can create a more sustainable version of entrepreneurship.
And then, as female founders, we can lead, relax and repeat.
